Turn Out Gay to Save Humankind
**Disclaimer** This article will be offensive.
Just Two Easy Steps
First, 3/4ths of the world male population has to decide to become gay (I’m not volunteering for this group.) So come on guys, ever had that feeling that deep down you really love a hot sweaty man? Seize the day (or the man!) Now’s your chance to do something philanthropic and help Make the World a Better Place! Don’t you want to help the World?
Second, all lesbians must un-lesbian themselves. THAT’S IT! See how simple it would be?
How would this help the World?
You are probably saying out loud “How would this Make the World a Better Place?” I’ll tell you. Immediately, every man on earth would now have over four times the dating pool! Every guy would be walking around with the woman of his dreams, or maybe a few of them.
BUT IT GETS EVEN BETTER! Long term, the earths population would go down! Think of the implications! (especially you guys thinking of going gay! Do it for the World!) With population decrease, housing costs would plummet, greenhouse gasses would decline, and there would be less of those famine thingies we are always hearing about in Zimbabwe or Mozambique or where ever!
And don’t think it stops there! With a declining population, there would be less traffic out there on the roads, and less competition for good jobs! The decreased greenhouse gasses would mean ice in the arctic would stay ice instead of becoming melted ice (otherwise known as ocean) and all the little penguins could still bone on land instead of out at sea (is that even possible?) With decreasing demand for commodities, my box of Cheerios would cost less, and I could finally be able to replace my hole-ridden tighty whitey collection, because, you guessed it! They would be cheaper.
So this is my plan, you heard it here first at www.thehawaiianlife.com. Tell everyone you know, lets make this thing happen!
