MTV: Pimp My Computer!

MTV, I’m calling you out

My computer setup is infinitely worse than any crappy car you’ve had on Pimp My Ride. For how much time I spend at my computer, I have a truly TERRIBLE setup, and it needs to be Pimped MTV. There are so many problems with my entire computer area I don’t even know where to begin. Here is The List.

1.) Computer chair - It is the smallest, crappiest chair you’ve ever seen. The back wobbles like crazy, and I constantly have to push it back in to make sure it doesn’t fall off because it’s so loose. Tightening the screw does nothing. Also, the whole house is tilted slightly, so I am constantly sliding to the left because of the well lubed wheels on my computer chair. Every couple of minutes I have to scoot, scoot, back into place, and then push the back of the chair back into it’s slot so I don’t fall over backwards when it falls off.

2.) Headphones - The padding has long since worn off, so hard plastic presses against my ears. The protective housing for the cable has long since stripped off, exposing raw wires, which if it didn’t interfear with the sound quality I could care less about. But of coarse the sound in the left earpiece only works about half the time because of this, and you have to play around with the bare wires to get it to work again. Sometimes it stays fixed for an hour or more, and sometimes it breaks again five minutes later. So now I get to mess with the headphone wires every time I scoot my chair back into place. Fun.

3.) Monitor - 21″ Samsung flat panel screen. Great right? Wrong. When it’s working it looks great, but I managed to get one that turns itself on and off intermittently. Normally it’s not a big deal, it just flashes totally dark for 2 seconds every half hour or so, but lately it’s gotten MUCH worse, doing it three or four times in a row which is SUPER annoying. I already sent it back once when it had 3 dead pixels on arrival, and I’m pretty sure the warranty is up, so I’m just stuck with a $350 defective monitor.

4.) Internet connection - It cuts out pretty regularly, and all the repairman can say is “You have old cables in this house, the only thing you can do is replace all the wire in the house.” Wow, thanks. Put one more checkmark in the column of “Reasons Why Living Here Sucks.”

5.) No PCI-E or AGP video card slots, just PCI - This computer was my first ever PC purchase because I’m a Mac guy, and it was just one of those things that I didn’t know mattered. Bottom line? The newest video card I can get in my computer is from about 2002, and games that are five years old still lag like a bitch. 

6.) Needs a System Reinstall - My computer overall just lags like hell, 5 seconds or more to open Firefox or a word processor. Tried uninstalling all useless things, didn’t work. Scanned for a virus. Did nothing. Oh, oh, a spyware scan will help! Wrong. So I get it in my head to reinstall the system software. Can’t find the disk. Call Dell to get new one. I’m told that 3 years ago I forgot to get the ownership transfered to my name from the guy I bought it from. I miraculously find the phone number of the company I purchased it from and give them a call, assuming it is a customer service line. Wrong. Turns out it was some guys cell phone number and I wake him up at 4am east coast time. Not happy. Whoops.

MTV, Are You Up For a Challenge?

Email me the time and date when you can Pimp My Computer, and I will try to be available to film the show. Thanks, and look forward to working with you guys. Mabye make my setup something like this, but with more monitors, but if you wanted to do something crazy, don’t let me hold ya back.

Gas Prices

My Thoughts on Gas Prices

I wish gas prices were $6, hell, $8 a gallon. You know why? Because then companies would stop fucking around and put all their effort into inventing a car that gets 100 miles per gallon. That’s all I want, just 100. Don’t even think for a second that it can’t be done. It hasn’t been done yet because A. No company cares enough to devote 100% of their energy and resources to making it happen, and B. As gas prices rise, oil companies are reaping hundreds of billions of dollars, squeezing every last penny out of every man, woman, and child in the modern world, and I’m sure they are paying people off left and right to keep it that way.

Don’t tell me it can’t be done. Right this second there is this little robot tootling around in the dirt of Mars digging little holes and making little sand castles and analyzing soil. Think about that, it’s going on RIGHT…NOW… And you telling me that my little Saturn Ion cannot possibly go from point A to point B for less than what it costs right now? Please.

I hope gas prices hits 8 dollars per gallon, because then people will CARE enough to come up with a solution.

A Friends Advice

Recent Letter from a Friend

“Hey man, I was just checking out Johnstonefitness.com for some reason… probabily because I have nothing to do here in L.A. But anyways, I just thought that it’s a really neat website that I’d keep checking out just because it’s really unique and in it’s core it’s really about the transformation of this guy. I think that’s probabily why people who like the website would keep coming back to check it out. Because this guy made a website about the changes that he’s made and is making and therefore as long as he keeps up dating his life, people will always come back!

I think with all the reality television shows out there it’s pretty clear that most people are interested in living vicuriously through other’s lives. You got a cool website going, and I honestly believe that we as your friends of course will want to know what you’re up to, but if you want to connect with strangers all over the world, you’ll need to entice them with somthing that everyone will want to see. I think Hawaii is a great gateway to capture attention, but you’ll need somthing to make yourself more specific, more original, more special. If you make your website about traveling all over Hawaii to find the most exotic or strange food you can find, that’s going to be interesting and keep people coming back. If you make it about yourself going into the toughest, ghettoest, shadiest neighborhoods and fighting the local gangsters people will want to keep coming back until you die. Now, the above two are only senarios that I came up with… and obviously you’re only man enough to even attempt one of them… but you are probabily too poor to afford all the food. But here’s a pretty cool one that I think you can be challenged and probabily going to enjoy.

What if…

you went after tons of girls all over Hawaii and documented your successes and failures? (hopefully more successes) I’m just throwing that out there, cuz I’m not even sure if that’s the coolest thing you could do. I mean, what if you started to build somthing cool? Like a motorcycle with a jet turbine engine? Well, someone did that in their garage and I saw it on youtube. I’ll think of more ideas and letyou know! By the way, Johnstonefitness is probabily making him some money cuz there are a couple weightloss and weightgainer buttons that people could click and make him money on that website.”

So what do you guys think of his ideas?