MTV: Pimp My Computer!
MTV, I’m calling you out
My computer setup is infinitely worse than any crappy car you’ve had on Pimp My Ride. For how much time I spend at my computer, I have a truly TERRIBLE setup, and it needs to be Pimped MTV. There are so many problems with my entire computer area I don’t even know where to begin. Here is The List.
1.) Computer chair - It is the smallest, crappiest chair you’ve ever seen. The back wobbles like crazy, and I constantly have to push it back in to make sure it doesn’t fall off because it’s so loose. Tightening the screw does nothing. Also, the whole house is tilted slightly, so I am constantly sliding to the left because of the well lubed wheels on my computer chair. Every couple of minutes I have to scoot, scoot, back into place, and then push the back of the chair back into it’s slot so I don’t fall over backwards when it falls off.
2.) Headphones - The padding has long since worn off, so hard plastic presses against my ears. The protective housing for the cable has long since stripped off, exposing raw wires, which if it didn’t interfear with the sound quality I could care less about. But of coarse the sound in the left earpiece only works about half the time because of this, and you have to play around with the bare wires to get it to work again. Sometimes it stays fixed for an hour or more, and sometimes it breaks again five minutes later. So now I get to mess with the headphone wires every time I scoot my chair back into place. Fun.
3.) Monitor - 21″ Samsung flat panel screen. Great right? Wrong. When it’s working it looks great, but I managed to get one that turns itself on and off intermittently. Normally it’s not a big deal, it just flashes totally dark for 2 seconds every half hour or so, but lately it’s gotten MUCH worse, doing it three or four times in a row which is SUPER annoying. I already sent it back once when it had 3 dead pixels on arrival, and I’m pretty sure the warranty is up, so I’m just stuck with a $350 defective monitor.
4.) Internet connection - It cuts out pretty regularly, and all the repairman can say is “You have old cables in this house, the only thing you can do is replace all the wire in the house.” Wow, thanks. Put one more checkmark in the column of “Reasons Why Living Here Sucks.”
5.) No PCI-E or AGP video card slots, just PCI - This computer was my first ever PC purchase because I’m a Mac guy, and it was just one of those things that I didn’t know mattered. Bottom line? The newest video card I can get in my computer is from about 2002, and games that are five years old still lag like a bitch.
6.) Needs a System Reinstall - My computer overall just lags like hell, 5 seconds or more to open Firefox or a word processor. Tried uninstalling all useless things, didn’t work. Scanned for a virus. Did nothing. Oh, oh, a spyware scan will help! Wrong. So I get it in my head to reinstall the system software. Can’t find the disk. Call Dell to get new one. I’m told that 3 years ago I forgot to get the ownership transfered to my name from the guy I bought it from. I miraculously find the phone number of the company I purchased it from and give them a call, assuming it is a customer service line. Wrong. Turns out it was some guys cell phone number and I wake him up at 4am east coast time. Not happy. Whoops.
MTV, Are You Up For a Challenge?
Email me the time and date when you can Pimp My Computer, and I will try to be available to film the show. Thanks, and look forward to working with you guys. Mabye make my setup something like this, but with more monitors, but if you wanted to do something crazy, don’t let me hold ya back.
