Posted by Jeremy G. on 23rd, 2008
Letter to my manager
Dear Boss, Please pay me like this:
Base: $7.50 per hour
Then add to that:
.25c every time I have to answer any question of any kind.
$1 every time I have to answer the phone.
$1 every time I have to recommend a restaurant that doesn’t suck.
$2 every time I check a guest in or out.
$3 ever time someone asks me a retarded question, such as ” ‘So where are the elevators?’ ‘Uh, 10 feet behind you sir.’ ”
$3 every time I have to haul bags up to the room that are so heavy the plane on the way over was flying tilted to the side.
$5 every time someone complains about how long their flight was. IT’S HAWAII, EVERYONES flight is long, don’t you realize I hear this same drivel a thousand times every single day? Stop whining!
$10 every time any woman over 50 years old flirts with me.
$10 every time any woman over 200 pounds flirts with me.
$15 every time someone who speaks HORRIBLE english insists on trying to get their point across even thought they know damn well I don’t speak German / Japanese / Norwegian / or Slovenian. And yes, I have seen every one of these.
$25 every time a customer yells at me for absolutely nothing.
$50 every time a coworker yells at me for absolutely nothing.
$75 every time a man of any age or weight flirts with me.
$99 every time my manager even asks me to plunge a toilet.
$300 every time a child barfs in the lobby.
$10,000 every time someone takes a shit in the elevator.
Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Jeremy G.
Posted by Jeremy G. on 20th, 2008
Not who I thought it would be, lol. It was an unusually slow day, and I got sent off property for about an hour also, so that my grand total came to a whopping 39 times, which makes Germz the big winner with a guess of 45, 100 EC sent bro! I estimate that on average it’s at least double this amount of phone calls though :P .
Anyways, my 39 phone calls is an average of a phone call every 18 minutes (adjusted for time I wasn’t at front desk.) Not as much as I expected, but it’s normally much busier, so I can only guess about those days. Maybe I’ll run another contest…
Posted by Jeremy on 18th, 2008
You see EVERYTHING working at a hotel and here are a few good recent ones.
1. When one guys comforter got wet, he decided to hang it off the 15th floor balcony to dry it off! As if this wasn’t funny enough, he then said the wind picked up and blew it off! So we went looking for it, on the roof, in the street and it is nowhere to be found. We are talking about an inch-thick, 8 foot by 10 foot comforter, and the guy says it just blew away into the sky, lol. What really happened? Probably the guy burned it with a cigarrett, threw it in the trash shoot, and then made up this story so he wouldn’t have to pay for it.
2. An irrate woman approaches me right outside my hotel babbling in German with a few english words mixed in. As I’m trying to understand her, she just marches away mid-sentence, and goes up to a Japanese group straight off the tour bus yelling “Spieken ze doich?!” (do you speak German?) These people speak hardly a word of English let alone anything else, so it’s funny this German woman is asking them of all people. I get her to come inside and through some detective work, I find her hotel. I call her a cab and tell her, sherades style, to stay until the cab comes. She says “Ok! Ok!” and sits down. Not 2 minutes later, I’m busy with a phone call when I see her out of the corner of my eye marching down the street again! After running after her, I decide to wait outside with her until the cab shows up, because I don’t want anything on my consience if she takes off and something bad happens. That and I’m just an old softy when it comes to old people 
3. Imagine one lady who has a lot of big heavy luggage with her on vacation. Lets say 3 bags, and you have to lug them around. Kind of annoying right? Now imagine a family of 4 with 12 bags you have to drag around. Rolling your eyes and swearing under your breath right?
Well, today a huge group from a cruise ship and a group of about 50 Japanese tourists showed up simultaniously early in the morning when none of the rooms were ready, so I had to store them all in the back. The bell room filled up, then the back office filled up, then the breakroom filled up, and eventually I even had to store a few in the breakroom bathroom! When it was all over, I counted two hundred and six pieces of luggage I had just stored in the back for them! At an average weight of 20 pounds, I just lifted 4,160 pounds! It was pretty much 5 straight hours of strenuous work. In my 6 months working here, I’ve never seen that many bags needing to be stored in the back before.
