Dear Boss, Please pay me like this:
Letter to my manager
Dear Boss, Please pay me like this:
Base: $7.50 per hour
Then add to that:
.25c every time I have to answer any question of any kind.
$1 every time I have to answer the phone.
$1 every time I have to recommend a restaurant that doesn’t suck.
$2 every time I check a guest in or out.
$3 ever time someone asks me a retarded question, such as ” ‘So where are the elevators?’ ‘Uh, 10 feet behind you sir.’ ”
$3 every time I have to haul bags up to the room that are so heavy the plane on the way over was flying tilted to the side.
$5 every time someone complains about how long their flight was. IT’S HAWAII, EVERYONES flight is long, don’t you realize I hear this same drivel a thousand times every single day? Stop whining!
$10 every time any woman over 50 years old flirts with me.
$10 every time any woman over 200 pounds flirts with me.
$15 every time someone who speaks HORRIBLE english insists on trying to get their point across even thought they know damn well I don’t speak German / Japanese / Norwegian / or Slovenian. And yes, I have seen every one of these.
$25 every time a customer yells at me for absolutely nothing.
$50 every time a coworker yells at me for absolutely nothing.
$75 every time a man of any age or weight flirts with me.
$99 every time my manager even asks me to plunge a toilet.
$300 every time a child barfs in the lobby.
$10,000 every time someone takes a shit in the elevator.
Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Jeremy G.
I laughed so hard that my stomach hurt.
They should pay me like that when I was working at Hydration. I’d be “balling” by now.
[Reply to this comment]
May 24th, 2008 at 8:30 am
I’ll come shit in your elevator, and we’ll split the $10 grand. Deal?
[Reply to this comment]
May 27th, 2008 at 1:03 am
LOL Why not just barf in the lobby too and we’ll split even more? How fast you think you could do the deed? We have a security guard, but he’s old, so if you were quick you could do both and then outrun him.
[Reply to this comment]
May 27th, 2008 at 1:01 pm