Turn Out Gay to Save Humankind
**Disclaimer** This article will be offensive.
Just Two Easy Steps
First, 3/4ths of the world male population has to decide to become gay (I’m not volunteering for this group.) So come on guys, ever had that feeling that deep down you really love a hot sweaty man? Seize the day (or the man!) Now’s your chance to do something philanthropic and help Make the World a Better Place! Don’t you want to help the World?
Second, all lesbians must un-lesbian themselves. THAT’S IT! See how simple it would be?
How would this help the World?
You are probably saying out loud “How would this Make the World a Better Place?” I’ll tell you. Immediately, every man on earth would now have over four times the dating pool! Every guy would be walking around with the woman of his dreams, or maybe a few of them.
BUT IT GETS EVEN BETTER! Long term, the earths population would go down! Think of the implications! (especially you guys thinking of going gay! Do it for the World!) With population decrease, housing costs would plummet, greenhouse gasses would decline, and there would be less of those famine thingies we are always hearing about in Zimbabwe or Mozambique or where ever!
And don’t think it stops there! With a declining population, there would be less traffic out there on the roads, and less competition for good jobs! The decreased greenhouse gasses would mean ice in the arctic would stay ice instead of becoming melted ice (otherwise known as ocean) and all the little penguins could still bone on land instead of out at sea (is that even possible?) With decreasing demand for commodities, my box of Cheerios would cost less, and I could finally be able to replace my hole-ridden tighty whitey collection, because, you guessed it! They would be cheaper.
So this is my plan, you heard it here first at www.thehawaiianlife.com. Tell everyone you know, lets make this thing happen!
Hey, don’t just talk the talk, you gotta walk the walk!
Be gay today!
ps, what about those bisexual people?
[Reply to this comment]
April 30th, 2008 at 11:15 pm
Good question, what about those of us that swing both ways?
PS great idea i totally see how this could work.
you should totally rule the world
[Reply to this comment]
May 2nd, 2008 at 5:31 am
Hi there ,
i’m not sorry for this , but i have to disagree with you . Democracy right !?
First if you thinks that the only solution for all the problems on earth would be solved as simple as it gets just by TURNING OFF the babies generator !?
population is one little problem we have and it’s not for sure the most important one we have . there is power supplies decreasing food limits , high suicidal rates , crime , .. etc and the list goes on .
yes you are right , the population is major cause of all these problems BUT decreasing our numbers won’t make our life much easier .
plus how many straight guy would agree and turn into the gay world ! the same for lesbians . ??
i’m straight man and i will NEVER turn to the opposite side ,
i do look at lesbians as they are sometimes HOT !
but they are still wrong and all they do is just following their sexuality .
according to your calculations there would be about 25 % of straight men and about 100 % of straight women .
i’m not good in maths but i don’t think this might work .
no one wants to deal with unsatisfied woman
this might lead to many Side Effects .
depression , insomnia , increasing suicidal rates ….etc and this all coz women will feel that they’ve lost their place on earth .
i think the best solution is to limit our birth rates , increase 3rd world countries education , and start spreading over the places that man kin never went there . we are living in certain places and most of it are overcrowded .
i’m not politician or good thinker , but i don’t think that turning to the other sexual side will make much difference as it might make damage
[Reply to this comment]
May 5th, 2008 at 5:06 am
So who decides who turns gay and who stays straight to benefit from lower green house gases and penguins boning on land. Is it assigned or on a strictly volunteer basis? Is it kind of like the draft?
[Reply to this comment]
May 5th, 2008 at 5:29 am
This post made me LOL I loved it! I love gay men anyway!
[Reply to this comment]
May 5th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
I think someone *ameo* took this article a little too seriously
[Reply to this comment]
May 6th, 2008 at 12:57 am
i don’t really know what made me take that much
[Reply to this comment]
May 6th, 2008 at 1:22 am
Ameo, You got me thinking…. Yes, a whole lot more women would be pissed off at the world, but consider this. The ones who were with a man would be happy as hell, shit, THEY GOT ONE. So the woman (or 3) that you have would be loving life, while the single ones would be all pissy. Fair trade?
.
No contest.
.
Lol, I can’t believe we are actually arguing the finer points of the effects of 3/4ths the male population being gay on our happiness
[Reply to this comment]
May 6th, 2008 at 1:49 am
so i just got to be gay….
[Reply to this comment]
May 7th, 2008 at 11:54 am
*caca*
That’s it! You’re in, now all we need are 2 billion more willing participants! Lets make it happen!
[Reply to this comment]
May 7th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Please tell me this article isn’t serious. Yea, that’s what we need, more queers. Like this country isn’t already plagued with enough faggotry. Lesbians are usually alright because they act like any other girl, but the fag males have a knack for talking like a child, acting like a child, dressing like a child, etc. Would you trust children to run this country? How would anything get accomplished? The last thing we need are more queens in the work atmosphere that can’t focus on production because they are constantly distracted by the thought that their shoes may not actually match their handbag. I have no problem with gays if they act like human beings, but I think the whole talking like a child thing, dressing like a clown, and the Sanfran-sissy-co parades are all a desperate cry for the attention that nobody ever gave you in the past. Congrats though, it’s working, but so is natural selection.
[Reply to this comment]
May 7th, 2008 at 7:07 pm
Man, that was funny shit! I’ve always thought that too!
[Reply to this comment]
May 15th, 2008 at 8:28 pm